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But I've never done anything to get prego. Not like my girlfriends.The next stop was the guy's stop. He kissed me good buy and gave me twenty dollars. "Thanks for the good time. Maybe I'll see you again sometime," he smiled and kissed me on the forehead.A black man got on the bus and came to sit in the seat next to me. I hadn't seen too many black people in my life. There's only a few in Red Jacket. Two work at the restaurant, cookin' and cleanin' tables.This man wasn't too dark though, not like Rodney and Jasper. They were my friends too. Not many people liked them, but I did. They made me laugh. Sometimes the three of us snuck into the woods and talked and once I even kissed Jasper. His big tongue slipped down my throat. But no one knows about that, so don't tell anybody, okay?"Do ya mind if I sits here next ta ya missy?" the black man asked."Yes, you can sit here if 'n you want," I told him. "I have black friends at home."He smiled and nodded then sat next to me. His hand fell on. Dressing up for one evening had been fun. But to be a girl, a woman,permanently was beyond anything I had thought of. However, I was nolonger the man I then was. Whilst I had never thought of a family andkids, I now felt a total failure. No longer able to perform as a man.Tears came to me. What would become of me?"Look, Gerry, I really know it's tough." Aunt Kate was holding both myhands now. "I can understand how you feel. But whatever has happened westill love you. I know Frank will take good care of you. He's tough andyou shouldn't cross him, but he will take care of you." Aunt Katestroked my hand softly. She was also close to tears. She rose andhugged me tightly. "Think about it carefully. You know there is nogoing back." She smiled at me and gave my hand a squeeze and they left."At least promise you will see the doctor and get his advice. We canthen still talk about it." Aunt Kate was right. A visit to the doctorand a honest discussion would give me something to think about..
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